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Monday, 31 March 2014

Dear Daddy

Hi daddy. Today marks seven years since you were taken away from me. I miss you terribly and wish you were still here. I miss your smile, which everyone says is exactly like mine.

Killer smile :)
I miss joking around and being silly with you. You were my dad as well as my big brother. I miss you so much. Yes, it's seven years but it seems like yesterday. Whoever said time heals had not lost a dad like you. Not a day goes by since that overcast April morning that I don't think about you.

Now that I'm older and more mature, I often wonder what our relationship would be like now. The kind of conversations we would have. The things we would do together. There are so many things I would have loved to do for you now that I have a good job. Buying you stuff and sending you and mommy on holiday. All sorts of things.
Baby Tina and Daddy


I know that if you were here now, you would be proud of the young lady that I have become. I've done all the things we talked about that you wanted me to achieve before getting married ;) I  know you would be proud and happy!

I guess my only solace is that I believe in God and that He always has our best interests at heart. Maybe he did not want you to be in more pain than you already were. I just hope and pray that it is part of His plan that we will one day see eachother again.

Your heart broken daughter

Tina



"Choping" & "Chops"

I just heard someone say "Cherovlet"...and pronounced the "t". I cringed, rolled my eyes and corrected them in my head. Yes, I am a grammar troll. People should just learn how to pronounce words properly. I swear if words were people, there would be a lot of people guilty of mass genocide on a daily basis! I remember when we were in high school we used to call it "choping", pronounced "ch-oh-ping". In upper sixth we even had a counter book where we wrote down all the words people mis-pronounced and we'd have a good laugh about it. There was this poor woman who took us for English for a term I think and her possession of the English Language was absolutely atrocious. To this day I don't know why on earth she taught English of all things. Needless to say, we terrorised her with our constant giggling and imitations of her funny utterances.

Now that I'm older though, I find myself looking at people in a slightly different light. Not all of us attended private schools. Not all of us took up French as a second language (Some people I know were arguing with me the other day when I was telling them you do not pronounce the "z" on "chez" in French. Guess they are used to hearing "CHeZ Ntemba" *sigh*). We were not all exposed to the same things and you know what? Just because one can speak better English than the next person, doesn't mean they are more intelligent or better than everyone else in any shape, way or form. It just simply means they were exposed to a different environment and that's ok. I've learnt to listen to what a person is saying as opposed to how they are saying. If you get the gist of what they are saying then it's all good right?

I maybe wrong but I've observed that as black people, we tend to laugh at each other more for mispronouncing ENGLISH words. Noone really bats an eyelash when some French person literally murders the English language. Everyone is always like "Oooo listen to his accent, isn't  is so sexy". Next comes a Nigerian dude talking about his "moda" and his "fada" and "googoo" (Google). Everyone packs out laughing and it's all "Oh my gosh, these Nigerians, you can hardly hear a word they are saying"! Really now?

I have no mercy though for those people who like to act like they are the originators of the Queen's English themselves. You know them. The ones who went to some mission school in the middle of nowhere. Us Zimbos call them "salad-wanna be's" or "masadzala". The ones who make sure their children cannot speak their mother language at all. They think talking through their noses in some high pitched screech will make them sound like they are talking in perfect English...NOT! Just be yourself and be proud of your background. As long as you speak with confidence and know what you are talking about there really should not be a problem.

After having said all that though, I still remain a grammar troll. It really doesn't hurt to try and improve your knowledge of English or any other language for that matter. Especially if you are aware of your short comings. Good grammar ain't never killed noone! Oooops, I mean good grammar has never been to known to kill anyone!



Saturday, 1 March 2014

Big Chop!

I cut my hair yesterday. Chopped it all off. I now have a tiny fro. Why? Because I thought my relaxed hair had become too fine and I wanted to start growing my natural hair and texturise it again in the future. How do I feel about it today? I want my hair back. I WANT IT BAAAAACK! Freddy, why did you let me cut it?! Whhhhhhhy? (Freddy is my hair dresser by the way) I had no clue that simply cutting one's hair could be such an emotional event. I realise how absolutely ridiculous that sounds. It is after all just hair right? But it's not you see. I feel like a part of me is missing somehow. A woman's hair is part of her. Part of her identity. It's one of the many things that make you a woman. Your pretty hair. My pretty hair. THAT I CHOPPED OFF YESTERDAY :'( I remember how absolutely nervous I got when the scissors went in and the first tuft of hair fell to the floor. It was then that the uncertainty crept in. The last time I had hair this short I must have been in like form two or something. Generally my hair grows fast but what if that has changed with age? What if I never regain my length? My heart started beating faster and I wanted to scream "Stoooop". Anyway, I will need to get over it soon because, as my oh-so-sensative friend said to me yesterday "Well, it's gone now chick".

Me with that "WTF did I just do?!?!" look


I had been thinking of cutting it off for a while but hadn't really had the guts to go for it. Then yesterday I was like what the heck, chop it all off I say! I mean my natural hair is not bad. It's long enough for me to get braided and stuff. Maybe it's just that I miss my long hair, thinning out though it was. Maybe I just need to give myself time to get used to this short look. After all, my reason for cutting my hair was to grow more healthy hair right? Also, I have been doing a lot of reading up on taking care of African hair, both natural and relaxed so I guess I know how to take better care of it. If all goes well, I would like to texturise it at the end of next year. It should have grown enough by then. My hair is very soft so I think texturising it is much better than relaxing it so it becomes bone straight. That should help it retain some body. I also don't think I have the patience to put in the extra work that long natural hair requires!

So guys, wish me luck on this natural hair journey! My purse is not too happy though because I need to go and buy some good quality wigs! If any one has any interesting tips for keeping natural hair healthy and strong, feel free to leave them in the comments section below.

Just a word of advice though, for those contemplating the big chop, make sure you are 100% certain and emotionally ready or else you will end up bawling your eyes out! I actually feel much better after putting this all down in this post though :)

Hope to get it back to this length soon!