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Monday, 5 November 2012

Evolution of the Checklist

This past weekend I was invited to a private party. The who's who in the entertainment industry was there and there was no shortage of eye candy. Of course it was fun flirting with the cute ones and all but that was all it was for me. I wasn't interested in anything else. I wasn't obliging when guys asked for my number. I just wasn't that interested. Ten years ago I would have been positively hyperventilating at the thought of such "talent" all around me. This just reinforced something that I have realized about myself lately. I've grown up. I've grown up and my boyfriend/man checklist has evolved over the years.

It's no longer about the most good looking guy or the richest guy. Looks and money are not everything. Please note, I'm not saying money is not good because it is, it buys shoes for me! Physical chemistry is a must. I want a man that I'm attracted to and can't keep my hands off (especially if he looks like Laz Alonso, I will be all over THAT)...
...but guys this man ka. God was really concentrating when he made him tjo! *drooling* 

But errrm yes, I digress. I've been told I am extremely picky and don't give guys a chance. I'd like to believe I have somewhat changed and matured a bit over the years. With the younger Tina, if you did not look like Laz (yes, you be will hearing a hell of a lot about him in this post so get over it now), drive a good enough car, didn't speak like you went to a private school and if, heaven forbid, you spelt "hi" with an "e", then it was later for you sucker! Now however, my checklist is a little less superficial. What I want and need now is a man I can connect with on an intellectual level. I want need him to seduce me more with his mind than his body and his looks (although if you're Laz, we can skip the mind bit). There are two or so guys I know that I had absolutely no chemistry with whatsoever when I first met them. However, being the mature 31 year old woman that I am, I sucked it up and gave them the time of day. After talking to them over a period of time, I realized hey, these guys are actually really nice people. They have some of the qualities I'd like my husband and baby daddy to have. I started to see them differently too.

Top on my list now is someone who will be my best friend first before anything else. Someone who makes me laugh and understands my sense of humour. A man who will love me for who I am, not try to change me but support and encourage me to be the best me I can be. A mature man please. None of this "oh look at me and my swag". I'm not 17 so I really couldn't give a rats ass about swag and you thinking you're a "boss". I need a man who has vision, knows what he wants in life and how to get it. Someone I can learn from. Someone I can trust. Over the years I've come to realize that guys are not and can never be perfect people just as I am not perfect. They make mistakes and don't always have the answers to everything just like me. This may seem obvious to some but it was quite a revelation to me!

I just want a man who wants to get to know me not because he wants to get into my panties but because he is genuinely interested in me. Oh who am i kidding, we all know the panties is their ultimate goal but you know what I mean. 

I honestly believe that God put off my meeting the man that is perfect for me for this long because if I had met him earlier, I most definitely would not have recognized him nor    given him the time of day. I guess He was waiting for me to grow up and into the woman who will be the perfect partner for the prince charming He has waiting for me in the wings! (Even if it's not Laz!)

P.S. There is no hope for those that spell "hi" with an "e". That is a serious pet peeve of mine!!

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Pearls, Heels and Dreams

Wow! I don't even know where to start! The Pearls, Heels and Dreams workshop I think has been the best thing to happen to me in a while. This was a fabulous, well spent morning with a group of beautiful and inspiring women!

My friend Taku made me buy a ticket from her and I bought it just to get her out of my hair (love you girl hehehe), but boy am I glad I did! The Pearls Heels and Dreams (PHND) power breakfast was held at Allo Allo restaurant Arundel Village this morning. The event is a creation of Norma Ndove and Leone Nezi, two very bubbly, energetic and driven young ladies. Unlike a lot of events that I've been to, this was well thought out, well planned and well executed. Everything flowed seamlessly and if ever there was a hiccup, our MC, the gorgeous Tinopona Katsande made sure we didn't notice a thing!

I don't have any John Terry tendencies (racism), but I loved the fact that this was mostly a group of young black women striving to realise their dreams. Nothing that was said was really new to me but the way they said it make it sink in, made it more meaningful. Maybe it was the fact that these words were coming from my peers that were brave enough to take the plunge, bite the bullet and go after their dreams. Tsitsi Mutendi (editor and founder of Jewel Magazine) talked about Big Hairy Audacious Goals. These are things that we all secretly want to achieve but think we can't. We think we don't have the resources, the connections, the brains, the time, the talent. She spoke about how she started Jewel with basically no capital but because of her passion, she made it happen. I like that she said we need to strive to be the person God created us to be. After all, it really is all about bringing glory to Him.

Takudzwa Chitsike, founder of Footprints Image Consultants and owner of Dee-Kaw-Zee talked about self branding. What image are you trying to portray? Is your outward appearance a reflection of who you really are and what you are trying to achieve? If your passion is politics and you want become, lets say the mayor of Harare, walking around dressed like Nicki Minaj and smelling like blue cheese is not going to cut it! Footprints helps you develop this aspect of your life and sync it with the rest of your persona.

Norma Ndove is @ZimBlackRose on Twitter! Wasn't I just so stoked to discover that?! It's like you've bumped into a long lost friend when you meet in person people you usually chat to on Twitter but don't actually know! The one thing that Norma said that really resonated with me was "ask for help". So often we don't want to appear stupid and think everyone else has their game together. Being with the ladies this morning made me realise this couldn't be further from the truth! It was great hearing so many other women talk about how they also needed help and how they didn't actually know how to do everything themselves.

I started feeling all soft and mushy inside when everyone started talking about how we as women should just ease up on drinking the "haterade" and start supporting each other as much we can. Support is key ladies! Support each other in any and every way we can, for it is only this way that we can all succeed. It doesn't have to be financial support. It can be your time, your advice, a shoulder for someone to cry on, a listening ear. For if you bless someone else, you can be guaranteed that you will get blessed in return, most probably more than you did the other person!

To top it all off we had Ace Photography making my girls and I feel like supermodels! Aren't we working it though? Don't we just look fabulous though? Naomi who? What? *dusting off shoulders*




All in all much fun was had. Much was learnt. Many contacts were made. Well done to the organisers, the ladies exhibiting their products and services and all the ladies that attended. I look forward to the next power breakfast. I have been motivated to stop procrastinating, take the bull by the horns and go after what I'm passionate about. As lame as this sounds, Drake was so right..#YOLO! ;)








Friday, 4 May 2012

Pagokoro

Ah yes, this day, lol lol lol

I was here

Five years ago I had no idea how it felt to lose a loved one. No idea at all. I had never really lost someone close to me. It was always distant relatives or people my parents knew from church. Of course I felt sorry for those that had been left behind but you know how it is. Within five minutes of hearing the news and think about it for a bit, it was business as usual. Then in 2007 my dad passed away and my whole world came crumbling down. Literally. Then my gran in January last year. Now I know. I know what it's like. No words can describe the disbelief, the pain. It's all still so surreal. Anyway. Today it's not about me.


I was just going through my Facebook last night and started seeing condolence messages on this girl's wall from people I'm friends with. Turns out I went to uni with her brother. Apparently she got run over by a car last night on her way home. I went onto her wall and people were utterly shocked. R.I.P posts were being posted within minutes of her passing on. The whole incident just got me thinking about death. Not a topic people like to talk about I know but nonetheless, something we all can't avoid.


 That poor girl. She is no more. All the plans she had, long term, short term, mean nothing now. Nothing all. All that's left is for people to mourn her and try to forget the pain they feel. She was young so I don't think she had any kids. How will people remember her? What proof will there be that she once existed? The whole incident got me thinking about what really matters in life. Beyonce's song I was here comes to mind:


                I want to say I lived each day, until I died
               know that I had something in, somebody's life
               The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave               
               That I made a difference, and this world will see

               I was here...              

               I lived, I loved              
               I was here...              
               I did, I've done, everything that I wanted              
               And it was more than I thought it would be              
               I will leave my mark so everyone will know              
               I was here...


You don't know when you day is. I think we all need to live our lives as fully as we can. No  procrastination. No regrets. Do the things that make you happy (as long as you're not being selfish). Make an impact in someone's life. Help other people. Share the blessings that God gives so that your life has meaning. Let go of all the unimportant baggage that waste this precious time we have on this earth. Spend time with your loved ones. Tell and SHOW them you love them. Use the talents that God gave you to the fullest. If you are a Christian, make sure your relationship with God and man is as it should be. Anything can happen anytime. Jesus said, watch and pray. Be prepared always.

Like Drake and Weezy said, YOLO (yes, I just had to throw that in!!). Make it count.

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Blogging

Wow! Can't believe I last blogged on the 1st of Jan??? That's like almost three whole months ago!?! Just that work has been keeping me busy and all. What with all the crazy restructuring and retrenching going on. However things seem to be settling down a bit so here's hoping I'm gonna have more time to share my thoughts on what I see going on around me, you know, life, happening. Oh and of course my good friend @faithkats keeps bugging me to add more content every chance she gets ;)



Sunday, 1 January 2012

2012


So, I keep seeing everywhere that 2012 is a year of new beginnings. With that in mind, let me take this opportunity to say I'm sorry to anyone I've hurt, intentionally or unintentionally in the past year. To those that have hurt me, may God give me his strength to forgive. No 2011 grudges spilling over into 2012! All that ish has to stay behind in 2011. 2012 is a clean slate. In 2012 I have no time for all the haters, the fake friends, the users, the abusers, the negative people, the leeches, those that don't have my best interests at heart. 2012 is about changing the people that surround me. As the saying goes, "Birds of a feather, flock together". The people I surround myself with are a reflection of who I am. I know where I am going, what I want. I know which people will not only help me get there but will actually be happy when I am successful.


I also pray that God uses me in 2012 to bring new beginnings to other people's lives. To use what he blesses me with to bless others. It's not all about me (well, not ALL the time lol).


Excited about this year! Lots of hard work and twice as much fun in store! With God's help nothing is impossible! Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 4:13, 1 Samuel 17:26, Mark 9:23 .


Peace, Love & Blessings to all! xoxoxo